A silent dream
A dreaded mutter
A foolish plea for a greater number

I can't seem to contemplate
How this world, has been made
Where everyone percieves
Each life each make

We hustle through life
Into a common daze
Into sleepless night
We can't get into place

And even after all
I'm in denial
And perhaps I still seek, for a greater cause
But Michael, no, reminisce not
Fantasies pass and you can't dim out

The life I want
But the seclusion I'm in
17 years and I'm but, delude
I can't think
And wait, I'm falling
Falling to my knees
Screaming for help.

I don't believe in constants, but its remarkable who the world have chosen to govern themselves. Legal tender they call it, picking us by our very nose. It's ironic though, how it was suppose to provide us easy-goings, but as the unanimous leader in itself, it took its self-directed course. Selflessness turned self-ishness, and every man in a rampage to seize their own islands. Are we still to dream for infinity, that this world is eternal? But what's there to plea but for money. The more the merrier isn't it?

They say money can't buy us happiness, but it sure seems that to me. It certainly is too much to ask for from a what-seems-to-be a god-forsaken world, a materialistic generation. I mean, what is there to ask from a society where the poor seems to spend the most?

Hours before the break of day the gentle caressing of the morning breeze greeted thee. It seemed surreal. As I laid there in the unscatted wooden-rocking chair, hands pressed under my head, I couldn't help but ponder about the ironically calm nature in this modernising world. A pity it would have been if missed, this rare unpolluted freshness in the air. And for the first time in my disturbed and confused world did everything seem to gather and take their place. My Utopia, untangled from worry; freed from the concerns to survive. I couldn't have asked for more, this intangible sensation, this unperturbed dimension, perhaps my valium has finally come to me. But what's this with every passing moment, my serene world is consumed by time. What injustice this system has brought, "time" it seems, truely waits for no man. Like an angel taking it flight, a blinding beam of light shot into my eyes. Its over. And now all I'm praying is for a second chance to revisit my new found kingdom; my fortress; my Utopia.

Courtships, they say, liberates the soul, and yet we know the irony of it all. The burden of the responsibilities, the hassles of keeping a sane mind. Perhaps we have accustomed ourselves to derive unimaginable satisfaction to care for another, or maybe it's only "human" . But whatever it is, we need it, this emotion, this sensation. We need confidants, we need someone greater, and above all, we need someone to love. The mortal and spiritual realms was where I searched but 17 years of illusionary courtships and alone was what always I've been. I went to religion and tried to experience a God, but I guess it never satisfied. And now I'm back at square one, hanging loose in a crowd with couples all around. Being without a partner amongst the rest has us persue, maybe manipulated by the outside impressions we give, or maybe simply because of a chance to experience what they do.

But Single really isn't all too bad is it?...Hah,but who am I to kid?

"i want to know what it means to live for someone else, to give up yourself.."

The indulging thought of a blissful world, it seems, would never rhyme. And all I can dream of is a valium to send me to a languor state; to run away from the hassles of this leeched race; but most of all, to escape this mortal world to a place where emotions have gone cold. Perhaps the big guy got it all wrong, or perhaps it is in his time, but religion to me is faded, extinct through these eyes of mine. This labyrinth of emotions, this insecure mind, oh sweet valium, what would it take, to have you be mine.