I'm so high~!

Bambec and prednisolone! You are my new best friends! Well at least either one of you are, and I'll kill the other once I've found out just which one of you has no satisfying use for me. Ahaha

I think the "losing life..control" post was a shit mistake, I mean I'm not emo you see, I just...yeeeahh...So...anyway...Ah screw it, don't feel like blogging about anything now. Ceeeyao!!

I think I'm losing touch, losing control.

I think I'm losing myself...

It's sad how change has to happen.

Life's become a bore once again, aimless and less of a target now.

I am fucking disgusted. Disgusted by how adults in their mid-20s can get so motherfucking childish. It was just a game of DotA, "DotA" for fucks sake and you cunts have to create a whole fucking "whoo-ha!" out of it. For the love of god, grow up. You motherfucking sons-of-bitches are fucking thankful I was in a stupid state of confusion to say anything and walked off instead, you fuckers are fucking lucky. Cause if I didn't, you guys would have gave beating up this "defenseless-19-year-old" a thought, and if that were have to come to past, even your fucking homes won't be safe. This "defenseless weakling" happens to know people who would back him up. Then again, I don't have to show that I even consider resolving matters with brute and childish violence.

It's an utter pity I didn't get my chance to slaughter your entire families and fuck you guys with the corpses. Instead I'm here complaining to an online text space. Count your blessings. Oh and since I'm already at it, I might as well bitch with no outcome of how you wanks should stop the whole British talk. It isn't cool, half of you guys are Indians for fucks sake, INDIANS and not fucking British, act like one, it's cooler that way. And just remember, you fuckers were mocking a 19year old, someone barely a young adult. Even I feel sorry for you guys...picking on people not of anyone of your level. Then again, I'm not even close to your standards because it's too damn low for me to even bother trying to comprehend.

Ni na bu ji bai, lim peh kan pua du lan.

" I was screaming my brains out
In a tongue no one could understand,
But you were there to comfort me.

I sought attention and created havoc,
Almost killing the life your brought a year later than I,
But you were there to calm me down.

I slammed doors, broke glass decorations,
I roamed the house like Charlie in the Factory,
But you were there to even things out.

I mocked your beliefs and invented some of my own,
I even left the sanctuary you made to be our second home,
And you were there disappointed, but you still accepted nonetheless.

I've gone against the three things you forbid me from doing:
Drinking, smoking and gambling,
But you were still there, only to advise and didn't take control. "

Though these works out to be mere words that seem to make no sense to anyone and are of no artistic value, but I'm sure you'd understand every phrase; every word used.

To mom: I love you.

I wouldn't want to detest, neither would I bother to yearn, not anymore. Maybe I should have stuck to the old theories, just maybe. Then again, it couldn't be helped; how blindness came like a force. I've taken back my sanity, at least I think I have.


I'd rather trust only myself.